If I Only!!!

Well today has been an interesting day and its only 1:50...

I walked into work this morning to No power and a sick little boy.... Thankfully We got the Power back at around 12:30 and Scooby Doo Has saved the Day for the Little one, But in the mean time Nanny Amanda was on Reading/cuddle Duty. Not that I don't mind the cuddling, Just wish He was not sick!

 Well nick Presented me with a book by the Good old Dr. Seuss and it was filled with all these crazy stories... Well he Insisted on Reading all Of Them!!! One of the Stories really stuck out to me even as a 29 year old Woman, "I wish I had Duck Feet" was the title and as I read the story about a little boy who wish he has all these crazy and different things different about him including, Duck feet, an Elephant Trunk, a Whale Spout and a Few other crazy ideas it Got me Wondering and Thinking about all the Things We Wish we Had or Didn't Have!!!

  Yesterday I wrote about "Fitting In"..  As a woman I know its Normal to always want to change something about yourself , wether its a new Hair Color, A new cut, Finding a New style and Even trying out New Ways to Better you appearance! All which are normal, natural and basic things that you can Easily Change and Really Don't Define you yet help you "fit in" with the Newest Style and Fashion for that period of time!

 However I know I have seem to struggle with the Fitting in process and No matter how Hard I tried and how much money I spent and Tried to "look" like the Image on the Magazine or the Girls and Group that seem to be Normal, it just never seemed like I was that Right Image and Truly Never "Fit" in.  Honestly for awhile I let that Define who I was and determined that I will never be as Pretty, special and Perfect as they are.

 But why was I letting my image define who I was and where I belonged? Why couldn't I see That I was MADE in GODS IMAGE!!! 

 In the story the Little boy thought of all the Fun and Different ways to be Different and be made different from his Friends and Family & while all the days had Some fun and exciting things that would make things a little more interesting, they also had problem that came with the Duck Feet and The Whale Spout!!!

  I/We Are so anxious to be like someone else and have what others have and to be like that someone else that looks like they have the perfect life and the Perfect Image, that we Forget that NO ONE is PERFECT!! 

 Remember God new what we were going to look like, and Who we would be before we were even Born. I/WE are a Beautiful Creation in Gods Eyes so why Change what He Created!

 I Don't want to change the Trees or the Flowers, I Admire the Mountains and The Ocean and all that he Created, so why Cant I Remember that I Am always one of GOD's CREATIONS!!!!!

 So with 2013 already One month in, I am really looking forward to being able to learn to Admire the BEAUTY of GOD's CREATION!!!!!! Including Myself , cause thats where it ALL starts!!

~ New Year New Me 2013 is underway and I Feel GREAT!!!!!

My worst Enemy!!

Welcome back~

So as I had mentioned yesterday I am on a mission to make 2013 all about the New Me!!!!!

I know that sounds so typical of people right... New me Usually means a new Diet, a new attitude and possibly even a new out look on life , especially after a rough year in the past possibly even a year of things that just never seemed to go right.

Well 2012 was Not A horrible year for me nor was there year before!! Actually come to think of it many of my years have been average with a Few exciting things to throw into the Mix to Help me Remember That Year.  For instance This past year I had the chance to swim with Dolphins, Meet my newest Nephew Lucas, meet some awesome and wonderful new people as well as witness some good friends marry there Best Friends. Great year right?? So why change you ask?? Well the New me is Ready to face my Worst and Ultimate Fear and Enemy!!!!

MYSELF!!!!!

Since as Far back as I have Remembered I have always been the Hardest on myself and been the main Reason that I have ben faced with so many insecurities. I have Always compared myself to the People around me, Have always Judged myself when others weren't and Always managed to put myself down. 

 There were only a few times in life that I actually felt like I "FIT" in and the truth was that I never did, cause I was never being Honest with myself and never being True to who I was! And that my Friends is why Weight and self image has always been A Huge Struggle for me!!!

So 2013 Is about not "Fitting in" But "Sticking out" and making a difference, starting with me!!!! 

No more I CANT, its all about saying I CAN~ and this Year I WILL make a Difference!!!

~ Matthew 5;16  Let your Light SHINE before men in such a way that they may see your Good works and Glorify your Father who is In Heaven!!

 Let my Light shine this year and Face ALL my Fears as I call upon HIM!!!!!

2013!!! New Year New Me!!!

 OK so the last time I was on here I was all set to start this Journey to weigh loss and Better eating....well I seem to Always say im going to do that and yet It NEVER happens!!! I seems to always have an excuse or a reason I cant and better yet I just Don't want to. 

 Back in 2007 I was married to my Husband and had lost a ton of weight working with the Family I use to work for in Barrington... They were on a All organic all Fruits and Vegetables and NO CARBS kick to help get themselves in shape and ready for the summer and to start teaching there boys the importance of being Healthy!!! On the Day of my wedding I weighed around 125 @ the Height of 5/3- 5/4. 
Shortly after we were married I changed Jobs and started working more hours for a Family with a new Baby and had Less motivation to keep going.. I was already married and I was working a full time Job and better yet I didnt need to look good!!!!

Well here I am almost 6 years later and weighing in at 20 ibs more than that day nearly 6 years ago and 25ibs more than where my heart desires to be!!!!!

 It seems like every year I would say I will loose the weight, be more active, eat better, and care more and yet it never Happened. I have been in 2 weddings that I was Determined to Look AMAZING in and yet the day came where the amount they took in was not where i Really wanted to be.
I have tried to loose weight to impress others and Fit in and Feel accepted and yet that only left me feeling lonely and like a utter failure. 
I have tried to loose weight to make others Happy and Proud and yet ending up Failing all over again.
I Have tried to loose weight for that summer vacation so when I walk around Disney World by the end of the day, I feel normal and Not  10 years older than I actually am, Never Happened!!!

Well this year I will be 30 and I am Determined to not let that age approach being in the shape I was and am in.... So thats why i have made this Year 2013 about GOD & ME!!!

No more crash diets, no more loosing weight to fit in,( accept me for me for I am Fearfully and Wonderfully Made) No more I I I!!!!!!

Its about God and Myself and Where Physically, Mentally, Emotionally and Spiritually I need to be and Learning to accept who GOD has made me to be!!

I started 2013 weighing in @ 145.6 and set a goal for myself to Change my Eating habits, Attend the Gym 3/4 times a week and Spend more time in the Word and focusing more on where God wants me to be And NOT where I want to be!!!

I am writing this almost a month later cause I tend to set goals and get on this High and Never follow thru, well this year has Already been a Much better year and has already been a HUGE improvement!!! 

I go to the Gym ALL the time and LOVE it and Although I have a few bad days and times when I pull the ME ME ME, I tend to then turn around and Say, GOD didnt Quit on me so why Am I quiting on Him!!!

 I have written little notes to myself to encourage me and put them in my car and On my phone, and I have a Few friends who Also have been A HUGE encouragement!!!! 

  So stay tuned for the Monthly weigh in and to Here more about what 2013 has to offer!!!  


I CAN DO ALL THINGS THRU CHRIST WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH!!! Phil 4:13~